not as a broken mirror, but as a beautiful mosaic
One night this past week, just before falling asleep, my wife and I shared a deep conversation about our love for one another. We spoke about how safe we feel as individuals and the security and love that we've each brought into our marriage.
Although I'm at a place in life where I feel safe with only a few people—something I'm deeply grateful for—that wasn't always the case for me. As our conversation unfolded, my wife expressed sadness. She wished that I had always known this sense of safety.
To her, I replied, "It's normal not to feel safe when I'm a broken individual."
That phrase pained her, and she quickly tried to reassure me, saying that everyone is broken in one way or another. She wanted to normalize my emotions. I was thankful for her caring demeanor, but I explained that I had come to terms with my brokenness.
After all, I experienced a great deal of trauma during the formative years of my childhood. Being broken felt inevitable. But I had reached a place where I am (almost) no longer angry or resentful about what had happened to me. Instead, I had begun to accept that everything I went through was meant to happen—it happened—and I could do nothing to change that, except to accept it.
The following day was my birthday. As I read the card my wife had written, I found a story inside that deeply touched my heart.
She wrote about a beautiful mirror that had been purchased for a mosque. But while placing it, the mirror was dropped and shattered. It was devastating for everyone. Then, someone came and gathered the broken pieces, and instead of discarding them, they used the fragments to build a mosaic.
When the mosaic was placed on the wall, it was even more beautiful than the mirror had originally been.
She told me that this is how she sees me—not as a broken mirror, but as a beautiful mosaic. That the broken pieces of my past have come together to create something even more astonishing.
That was powerful.
In that moment, I began to realize the truth of her words. It's not an easy concept to embrace, but my wife was right. My brokenness and everything I've endured have helped shape me into the man I am today. A stronger, more empathetic, more passionate man—with purpose.
My goal is to learn how to see myself that way—to see the mosaic!
The beautiful part of all this is that I do have a small group of people in my life who already see that mosaic in me. That means the world to me. These individuals have helped me piece myself back together. They've provided a deep sense of safety in my life, and I am incredibly grateful for them (you know who you are).
Now, I want to learn how to see myself as they do. To see the mosaic within me.
To those who feel broken in one way or another, my prayer is this: May you join me on this journey of self-love. May you begin to see the new creation you've become. May you surround yourself with people who will hold the mirror up so you can see just how wonderful you truly are.
When you find those people, hold on to them—they are your gift!
JC
Husband | Father | Founder at myTOD